Over the past two years, I’ve attended my fair share of speed dating events in the pursuit of meeting the future father of my children. While always fun, these outings, more often than not, leave me fuming at the sheer incapability of grown men (and women) being able to make decent small talk. For the one being asked, it triggers your anxiety levels because a) is this person only interested in my potential revenue and contribution to a future relationship ( i.e. gold digger!) and b)

For the askee, it opens you up to having to listen to someone explain their potentially boring profession in great detail for the duration of your 5 minute date (yes, this really happened to me – I don’t ever want to hear anything about stocks and the market again!). Let’s park that for date 3, after mains when we’re both feeling more relaxed. Be assured that everyone at this event is there because they’re single and they don’t need to share why.

I barely tolerate my family and friends asking this question – the last thing I need is someone who could be a potential partner or at the very least an adult playmate asking the same thing and having to awkwardly explain the reason for my singledom. Not all of our biological clocks are ticking and having children is personal matter that not everyone is comfortable discussing. You’ve literally just learnt my name and I have barely sat down and yet, you think I want to go back to your place?

This is another one of those dead-end questions because inevitably you’ll end up saying the same things you’ve listed on your numerous dating site profile and job applications: swimming, dancing, socializing with friends etc. Seriously, take stock of your surroundings – a speed dating event is usually held at a classy joint where grown-ups have mature, adult conversations. If you prefer skanky hook-ups, go check the nightclub/bar/brothel down the road.